Sunday, September 5, 2010

Brain Damage

This is the story about a simple guy who tried to unearth some untouched stones. Lucky he was, to narrate the story to me. The story as told by this guy who does not want to be named.
I had a chance to have a conversation with an eminent professor of a leading B School. The professor claimed to “bare it all” (not literally) in the thirty minute candid session.  I had always suspected a few profs of egregious and sadistic motives. On being questioned regarding the difficult course curriculum which was floated out every year to poor chaps who were living miles away from home in hostile conditions and paying hefty sums of money that their whole lineage has not earned in several decades, the prof replied that the course structure is very much in line with likes of Harvards and Stanfords. The fee that is being charged is a result of the continuous effort by the college to optimize the debt-equity mix. On being probed regarding the randomness in grades the professor claimed that is the case with placements and shorlisting as well. I hit back by saying that “shortlisting was not that random, at least there you can figure out a desperate attempt by some sexually starved people”. The professor reacted wittingly saying “analyze the grades you will find the same there as well, it is just a little subtle and not that blatant”. I was taken aback by the statement and the tracks like ‘Dance of death’ followed by ‘Be quick or be dead’ being played in the backdrop added to the horror. The framed pictures of Hannibal Lector and what appeared like ‘Eddie the Head’ on the blood red coloured painted walls were not amongst the most picturesque of the sightings. After a brief pause I gained by momentum. However, the smoke that the prof lashed out of what appeared like a local bidi was making me feel fidgety.
The prof went on to claim that they derived sadistic pleasure by seeing the students’ suffering and pain. On being asked that the students considered many of the profs as father figures and was such deceit justified??, the prof got incensed. He said that lifelong these students would be preyed on by the merciless corporates, we are just preparing them for the same. And what’s wrong if we have come to enjoy it he said with a wink. When quizzed about the presence of underground society of profs which devises novel means to torture students, the prof feigned shock and awe. However, on assuring him absolute anonymity, he said that such a society exists from ages and was similar to underground societies at western universities like Yale. He claimed that they have a strong financial backing as they get money from the ancestral property of Hitler and Mussolini. After a couple of minutes of pondering the prof said that means developed by their secret society were not inhumane and were not targeted at physical torture like BDSM and Opus Dei. The stress here was on ’brain damage’. On being asked about the recent increase in intake of number of students the cranky prof replied with a devilish smile- “What appeared to have been a major cause of concern earlier has now become tantalizing and mouth watering prospect as we have been able to develop more apt and devious methods which can inflict damage in one go and we have also been able to rope in more and more like minded people in this profession of the intellects”.
This person apparently felt so shocked and overwhelmed that he could not tell me his whole story. However, he considers himself lucky to have escaped unscathed. Currently, he is being treated at a local clinic for the mental trauma that he went through. This person believes that the satanic side of the profs has been exposed.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

CQued

Not long ago the hallowed portals of XL were invaded by a creepy little acronym called CQPI(more popularly known as CQ). Soon CQ invaded every nook and cranny of XL like a contagious virus. There were absolutely no places where u can hide from CQ. There was not much one can do-either to give in to its demands or get annihilated. Demands were so sinister and inhumane that even the life under the iron curtains would have felt like a blessing. There was a bunch of people who decided to stage a fight. They decided to follow in the path of Mahatma Gandhi. They staged the non cooperation movement and boycotted every attempt of CQ to corrupt their souls, with absolute disdain and contempt. They watched movies, bunked classes, slept a heck lot, boozed day in day out... you name it they did it. CQ was enraged. CQ fought back with ruthlessness in what it called “the battle of the End Terms”. The gory attacks almost crippled the army. Most of them gave in to its demands. Three battles of end terms were fought in a year. The debilitating damage that CQ did was irreversible. Then some poor souls decided to take help from outside forces like CFA, FRM, live projects etc. But their demands were even more gruesome. So finally the movement which was biggest of them all was unveiled- “The Indifference movement”. More bluntly termed by some as “I don’t care, p*** off CQ”.